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Home » Why Willpower Was Never Enough

Why Willpower Was Never Enough

Author:

Joanna Cismaru

Last Updated: 4/16/26
107 Comments

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jo and doodles.

I have built a successful business from the ground up, managed a library of nearly 3,000 recipes, and maintained a 20-year career as a software developer. My entire professional life has been defined by logic, systems, and the ability to solve complex problems. Nobody would ever call me lazy. In the world of code, if something isn’t working, you find the bug and you patch it. You don’t just sit there and tell the computer to “try harder.”

Joanna Cismaru on her acreage with her two doodles celebrating her Mounjaro weight loss journey and metabolic health.

Yet, for 3 decades, that is exactly what I did with my own body.

I sat across from a plate of cookies and felt like a failure because I could not “discipline” my way out of wanting them. I viewed my weight as a personal glitch, a lack of character that I could surely fix if I just found the right “program.” I spent years running the same loops of keto, intermittent fasting, and “Monday resets.” I would lose the weight, feel in control for a few months, and then the noise would come back. It was like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. Eventually, your arms get tired, the ball pops up, and you are right back where you started, feeling twice as guilty as before.

As a developer, I should have realized sooner that if a system fails 100 times, the problem isn’t the user, it is the code.

The world wants us to believe that weight is a simple math problem of calories in versus calories out. But for those of us living with food noise, it is actually a chemistry problem. I used to think my husband, Remo, was just “stronger” than me because he could stop at one bite. I didn’t know that he simply wasn’t having the same internal argument I was. His “off switch” worked; mine was broken. I wasn’t lacking willpower. I was living with a biological bug that no amount of “trying harder” could fix.

The Hardware vs. The Software

For years, I treated my weight like a moral failing. I thought if I was smart enough to write code and savvy enough to build a business, I should be ‘strong’ enough to stop eating when I was full. But biology doesn’t care about your resume. When my doctor looked at my blood pressure and told me I was in the danger zone for a heart attack, the ‘willpower’ argument finally crumbled. I realized I wasn’t just fighting a craving; I was fighting a chronic disease that was winning. Accepting a medical solution wasn’t giving up, it was finally choosing to survive.

As a developer, I spent my career knowing that if the hardware is failing, no amount of new software will fix it. You can’t install a better app to repair a broken motherboard. But for thirty years, that is exactly what I tried to do with my body. Every new diet, every “clean eating” challenge, and every intense gym routine was just another piece of software I was trying to force onto a system that had a fundamental hardware glitch.

My “hardware”—my hormones and my metabolic signals—was misfiring. It was sending “hunger” signals at 100% volume while the “full” signals were muted. I realized that my “pride” about doing it on my own was actually a dangerous liability. I was so focused on being “disciplined” that I was willing to risk my life to prove a point.

The “light at the end of the tunnel” appeared the moment I stopped viewing my weight as a personality flaw and started viewing it as a medical condition. When I started Mounjaro, it wasn’t about finding a “shortcut.” It was about finally getting the right part to fix the hardware. For the first time in my life, the “code” of my body actually matches the effort I’m putting in.

The Biological Bug: Insulin Resistance

As it turns out, I wasn’t just fighting a loud internal voice. I was fighting a system-wide failure called insulin resistance. In developer terms, my body’s energy management system had a critical bug.

Insulin resistance meant that my body was incredibly efficient at one thing: storing fat. But when it came time to use that fat for energy, the “access denied” screen was essentially hardcoded into my biology. It was a one-way street. I could gain weight just by looking at a piece of bread, but when I tried to lose it—even with extreme deficits—my body refused to give it up. I was starving my system, but the “code” told my body to hold on to every single ounce at all costs.

This is the part I wish I could scream from the rooftops to everyone still stuck in the “just eat less” loop.

When your body is insulin resistant, you aren’t playing on a level playing field. You are playing a game where the rules are rigged against you. For years, I blamed my lack of discipline for the scale not moving. I didn’t realize that no amount of software updates could fix a hardware system that was locked in “store” mode.

Mounjaro acted as the patch for that insulin resistance bug. It finally unlocked the door and allowed my body to function the way a healthy system is supposed to. For the first time, my effort actually produced a result. I wasn’t cheating; I was finally using a tool that fixed the underlying biological error.

two muddy doodles.
We call this look ‘farm chic.’ Very in this season.

Under the Hood: How the “Patch” Actually Works

Because I spent so many years in tech, I couldn’t just take a medication without understanding the “code” behind it. I wanted to know exactly how this “patch” was fixing my hardware.

Mounjaro is what they call a dual-agonist. While older medications might only target one pathway, this one hits two different receptors in the body (GLP-1 and GIP). Think of it like a dual-core processor for your metabolism.

First, it regulates how my body handles sugar and insulin, effectively bypasssing the “access denied” screen of my insulin resistance. Second, it communicates directly with the brain to slow down digestion and, most importantly, signal that I am satisfied.

For someone like me, who lived with a broken “off switch” for decades, this was revolutionary. It didn’t just suppress my appetite; it recalibrated my entire energy management system. It’s the reason I can now walk past those cookies without a second thought. My body is finally receiving the “data” it needs to know I’m full, and my metabolism finally has the “permissions” it needs to use stored energy instead of just hoarding it.

It’s not magic; it’s biology finally working the way it was designed to.

The Weight of More Than Just Pounds

For the first time in my adult life, I feel light—and I am not just talking about the scale.

Before this, every day felt like I was dragging an invisible anchor behind me. I didn’t realize how much energy I was spending just trying to exist in a body that felt inflamed, tired, and out of sync. We had just bought our dream acreage, but I was too exhausted to actually walk the land I had worked so hard for.

Now? The anchor is gone.

The most wonderful part of this journey isn’t the smaller clothes; it is the absolute freedom of movement. I wake up and I don’t feel “heavy” in my own skin. When I walk out the door with the dogs, I am not calculating how many steps it will take to get back to the house. I am just… walking. I am breathing the fresh air, watching the doodles run, and feeling a level of vitality I thought was reserved for people decades younger than me.

It is a strange and beautiful thing to realize that at 54, I am actually just beginning. I feel free to play, to explore, and to sit comfortably in my own home without the constant physical reminder that something is wrong. My blood pressure is down, my inflammation is gone, and that “fog” that used to settle over me by mid-afternoon has lifted. I am not just surviving my workdays anymore; I am thriving in them.

two doodles playing in the grass.
Just a couple of farmers inspecting the crops. Very official business.

The Freedom to Just Be

What I didn’t expect was how much more room I’d have in my life for everything else. When you aren’t spending 80% of your mental energy negotiating with a craving, you suddenly have a surplus of creativity.

On the acreage, life feels bigger. I used to look at the hills or the long driveway and see a chore—a physical tax I wasn’t sure I could pay. Now, I see a playground. I’m out there with Remo and the doodles, and I’m present. I’m not thinking about my joints aching. I’m just a woman enjoying the home she worked decades to build.

And ironically, this has made me love my work even more.

People ask me all the time, “Jo, how can you be a food blogger and take Mounjaro?” They think the medication kills the joy of food. It’s actually the opposite. It has stripped away the obsession and left the appreciation. I can develop a recipe, taste the flavors, and enjoy the process without the biological “static” that used to turn every meal into a battle. I’m cooking with more clarity than ever because I’m doing it for the craft, not the noise.

I’m 54 years old, and for the first time, I feel like I’m finally in the driver’s seat.

If you’re reading this and you’re tired—if you’re exhausted from the “willpower” myth and feeling like your own body is a locked door—I want you to know the key exists. There is no prize for suffering through a disease you can treat. There is no extra credit for doing it “the hard way.”

The light at the end of the tunnel isn’t a destination; it’s the moment you realize you can finally stop running and just start living. I’m out here on the acreage, the noise is gone, and for the first time in my life, the view is spectacular.

What To Read Next

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Joanna Cismaru Avatar
Joanna Cismaru
I’m Joanna Cismaru, the cook, writer, and professional taste tester behind AllMyCravings. I traded software code for cinnamon rolls years ago and never looked back. These days, I’m sharing the recipes I actually make in my own kitchen. The cozy, crave worthy, everyday kind that doesn’t need a culinary degree or twelve trips to a specialty store. If it’s easy, flavorful, and makes you want seconds, you’ll find it here.
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107 responses

  1. Suzanne Ashworth
    April 17, 2026

    So proud of you for sharing your story. It makes me happy to hear that you are happy and have found a way to enjoy your life even more. It sounds like you live in a beautiful place and are enjoying every minute of it. What a great gift you’ve given yourself and to all of us. I am truly inspired. Keep up the good work!

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, that really means a lot to me. I’m just grateful to finally feel like I can enjoy life a bit more, and I appreciate your kind words ❤️

      Reply
  2. Hilary Peters
    April 17, 2026

    Joanna, I see so much value in your vulnerability and honesty.
    Good for you.
    There should be no judgements in the difficult journey of feeling better and getting stronger.
    Keep up the good work and I live the recipes that come into my inbox.

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, that really means a lot to me. And I’m so glad you’re enjoying the recipes too 😊

      Reply
  3. suzanne
    April 17, 2026

    Thank you so much for this “confession”. I am at the same place. This is great food for thought.

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, I’m really glad it resonated with you. It’s a lot to unpack, but you’re definitely not alone in it ❤️

      Reply
  4. Jim FitzHarris
    April 17, 2026

    So happy for you, it’s wonderful that you finally “broke the code’”! Life is grand when you can get that monkey off your back. Looking forward to trying more of your recipes!
    JimBob

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate that! And yes, it really does feel like breaking the code, I’m so glad you’re here and enjoying the recipes 😊

      Reply
  5. Judy
    April 17, 2026

    I’m sure your story will resonate with many people. Well said. A family member is struggling with this issue as are so many. Many to combat the depression of their cravings and the world in general these days. On another note, I have enjoyed many of your recipes. They are always reliable. Thanks

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. It’s something so many people quietly struggle with, and I’m glad sharing my experience could help in some small way ❤️

      Reply
  6. Cathryn Hodgson
    April 17, 2026

    Life is always a journey. Good for you!
    Love your recipes, keep up the good work.

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, I really appreciate that! And yes, it truly is a journey ❤️

      Reply
  7. CathyAnn
    April 17, 2026

    Jo, you are a ROCK STAR! I admire your bravery for sharing your story and am so happy for you! I can relate to your post 100%. Although I’d like to try one of the weight loss drugs, I’m not willing to take the risk of side effects. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, that really means a lot. And I completely understand, it’s a very personal decision and everyone has to do what feels right for them ❤️

      Reply
  8. Cynthia
    April 17, 2026

    Great essay! I have been on Mounjaro for a year and I am grateful everyday that I “gave it a try”. I went on it to lose weight but like you, I gained so much more.

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, I love hearing that. It really does give you so much more than just weight loss, doesn’t it ❤️

      Reply
  9. Susan
    April 17, 2026

    I’ve been waiting for this update!! So very happy for you ☺️
    Love your recipes ❤️
    p.s. your house is beautiful and your dogs are adorable!

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, that’s so sweet of you to say 😊 I’m really glad you’ve been enjoying the recipes too ❤️

      Reply
  10. Maria
    April 17, 2026

    Thank you for sharing your story and congrats on having the courage to try these products on the market. My doctor gave me an Rx for Zepbound but I’m being a chicken and haven’t started it yet due to the possible gastro side effects since I have diverticulosis. We shall see… keep up the great work! Love your recipes! Maria xoxo

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 17, 2026

      Thank you so much, Maria, that really means a lot. And I totally understand the hesitation, especially with your situation, it’s always best to go at your own pace and feel comfortable with your decision ❤️

      Reply
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Meet Jo

We’re Joanna and Remo, a wife and husband duo obsessed with good food, simple ingredients, and turning everyday cravings into recipes you’ll actually want to make.

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