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Home » Why Willpower Was Never Enough

Why Willpower Was Never Enough

Author:

Joanna Cismaru

Last Updated: 4/16/26
45 Comments

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jo and doodles.

I have built a successful business from the ground up, managed a library of nearly 3,000 recipes, and maintained a 20-year career as a software developer. My entire professional life has been defined by logic, systems, and the ability to solve complex problems. Nobody would ever call me lazy. In the world of code, if something isn’t working, you find the bug and you patch it. You don’t just sit there and tell the computer to “try harder.”

Joanna Cismaru on her acreage with her two doodles celebrating her Mounjaro weight loss journey and metabolic health.

Yet, for 3 decades, that is exactly what I did with my own body.

I sat across from a plate of cookies and felt like a failure because I could not “discipline” my way out of wanting them. I viewed my weight as a personal glitch, a lack of character that I could surely fix if I just found the right “program.” I spent years running the same loops of keto, intermittent fasting, and “Monday resets.” I would lose the weight, feel in control for a few months, and then the noise would come back. It was like trying to hold a beach ball underwater. Eventually, your arms get tired, the ball pops up, and you are right back where you started, feeling twice as guilty as before.

As a developer, I should have realized sooner that if a system fails 100 times, the problem isn’t the user, it is the code.

The world wants us to believe that weight is a simple math problem of calories in versus calories out. But for those of us living with food noise, it is actually a chemistry problem. I used to think my husband, Remo, was just “stronger” than me because he could stop at one bite. I didn’t know that he simply wasn’t having the same internal argument I was. His “off switch” worked; mine was broken. I wasn’t lacking willpower. I was living with a biological bug that no amount of “trying harder” could fix.

The Hardware vs. The Software

For years, I treated my weight like a moral failing. I thought if I was smart enough to write code and savvy enough to build a business, I should be ‘strong’ enough to stop eating when I was full. But biology doesn’t care about your resume. When my doctor looked at my blood pressure and told me I was in the danger zone for a heart attack, the ‘willpower’ argument finally crumbled. I realized I wasn’t just fighting a craving; I was fighting a chronic disease that was winning. Accepting a medical solution wasn’t giving up, it was finally choosing to survive.

As a developer, I spent my career knowing that if the hardware is failing, no amount of new software will fix it. You can’t install a better app to repair a broken motherboard. But for thirty years, that is exactly what I tried to do with my body. Every new diet, every “clean eating” challenge, and every intense gym routine was just another piece of software I was trying to force onto a system that had a fundamental hardware glitch.

My “hardware”—my hormones and my metabolic signals—was misfiring. It was sending “hunger” signals at 100% volume while the “full” signals were muted. I realized that my “pride” about doing it on my own was actually a dangerous liability. I was so focused on being “disciplined” that I was willing to risk my life to prove a point.

The “light at the end of the tunnel” appeared the moment I stopped viewing my weight as a personality flaw and started viewing it as a medical condition. When I started Mounjaro, it wasn’t about finding a “shortcut.” It was about finally getting the right part to fix the hardware. For the first time in my life, the “code” of my body actually matches the effort I’m putting in.

The Biological Bug: Insulin Resistance

As it turns out, I wasn’t just fighting a loud internal voice. I was fighting a system-wide failure called insulin resistance. In developer terms, my body’s energy management system had a critical bug.

Insulin resistance meant that my body was incredibly efficient at one thing: storing fat. But when it came time to use that fat for energy, the “access denied” screen was essentially hardcoded into my biology. It was a one-way street. I could gain weight just by looking at a piece of bread, but when I tried to lose it—even with extreme deficits—my body refused to give it up. I was starving my system, but the “code” told my body to hold on to every single ounce at all costs.

This is the part I wish I could scream from the rooftops to everyone still stuck in the “just eat less” loop.

When your body is insulin resistant, you aren’t playing on a level playing field. You are playing a game where the rules are rigged against you. For years, I blamed my lack of discipline for the scale not moving. I didn’t realize that no amount of software updates could fix a hardware system that was locked in “store” mode.

Mounjaro acted as the patch for that insulin resistance bug. It finally unlocked the door and allowed my body to function the way a healthy system is supposed to. For the first time, my effort actually produced a result. I wasn’t cheating; I was finally using a tool that fixed the underlying biological error.

two muddy doodles.
We call this look ‘farm chic.’ Very in this season.

Under the Hood: How the “Patch” Actually Works

Because I spent so many years in tech, I couldn’t just take a medication without understanding the “code” behind it. I wanted to know exactly how this “patch” was fixing my hardware.

Mounjaro is what they call a dual-agonist. While older medications might only target one pathway, this one hits two different receptors in the body (GLP-1 and GIP). Think of it like a dual-core processor for your metabolism.

First, it regulates how my body handles sugar and insulin, effectively bypasssing the “access denied” screen of my insulin resistance. Second, it communicates directly with the brain to slow down digestion and, most importantly, signal that I am satisfied.

For someone like me, who lived with a broken “off switch” for decades, this was revolutionary. It didn’t just suppress my appetite; it recalibrated my entire energy management system. It’s the reason I can now walk past those cookies without a second thought. My body is finally receiving the “data” it needs to know I’m full, and my metabolism finally has the “permissions” it needs to use stored energy instead of just hoarding it.

It’s not magic; it’s biology finally working the way it was designed to.

The Weight of More Than Just Pounds

For the first time in my adult life, I feel light—and I am not just talking about the scale.

Before this, every day felt like I was dragging an invisible anchor behind me. I didn’t realize how much energy I was spending just trying to exist in a body that felt inflamed, tired, and out of sync. We had just bought our dream acreage, but I was too exhausted to actually walk the land I had worked so hard for.

Now? The anchor is gone.

The most wonderful part of this journey isn’t the smaller clothes; it is the absolute freedom of movement. I wake up and I don’t feel “heavy” in my own skin. When I walk out the door with the dogs, I am not calculating how many steps it will take to get back to the house. I am just… walking. I am breathing the fresh air, watching the doodles run, and feeling a level of vitality I thought was reserved for people decades younger than me.

It is a strange and beautiful thing to realize that at 54, I am actually just beginning. I feel free to play, to explore, and to sit comfortably in my own home without the constant physical reminder that something is wrong. My blood pressure is down, my inflammation is gone, and that “fog” that used to settle over me by mid-afternoon has lifted. I am not just surviving my workdays anymore; I am thriving in them.

two doodles playing in the grass.
Just a couple of farmers inspecting the crops. Very official business.

The Freedom to Just Be

What I didn’t expect was how much more room I’d have in my life for everything else. When you aren’t spending 80% of your mental energy negotiating with a craving, you suddenly have a surplus of creativity.

On the acreage, life feels bigger. I used to look at the hills or the long driveway and see a chore—a physical tax I wasn’t sure I could pay. Now, I see a playground. I’m out there with Remo and the doodles, and I’m present. I’m not thinking about my joints aching. I’m just a woman enjoying the home she worked decades to build.

And ironically, this has made me love my work even more.

People ask me all the time, “Jo, how can you be a food blogger and take Mounjaro?” They think the medication kills the joy of food. It’s actually the opposite. It has stripped away the obsession and left the appreciation. I can develop a recipe, taste the flavors, and enjoy the process without the biological “static” that used to turn every meal into a battle. I’m cooking with more clarity than ever because I’m doing it for the craft, not the noise.

I’m 54 years old, and for the first time, I feel like I’m finally in the driver’s seat.

If you’re reading this and you’re tired—if you’re exhausted from the “willpower” myth and feeling like your own body is a locked door—I want you to know the key exists. There is no prize for suffering through a disease you can treat. There is no extra credit for doing it “the hard way.”

The light at the end of the tunnel isn’t a destination; it’s the moment you realize you can finally stop running and just start living. I’m out here on the acreage, the noise is gone, and for the first time in my life, the view is spectacular.

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Joanna Cismaru Avatar
Joanna Cismaru
I’m Joanna Cismaru, the cook, writer, and professional taste tester behind AllMyCravings. I traded software code for cinnamon rolls years ago and never looked back. These days, I’m sharing the recipes I actually make in my own kitchen. The cozy, crave worthy, everyday kind that doesn’t need a culinary degree or twelve trips to a specialty store. If it’s easy, flavorful, and makes you want seconds, you’ll find it here.
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45 responses

  1. Susan C Potter
    April 16, 2026

    Hi Jo. Thank you for sharing again, so eloquently. You seem to be thriving! And, for that I am happy! I have a good friend who just told me she’s doing the same thing as you and she said now she’s not thinking about food when she’s happy, when she’s sad, when she’s tired, when she’s lonely, when she’s upset…and so on. What a wonderful difference! And, important, too! I wish you a long, happy, healthy life! Enjoy the pups, the land, your husband and your career! Love and prayers, Sue

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      Thank you so much, Sue, that really means a lot. And yes, that quiet around food is such a big change, I didn’t realize how much space it was taking up until it was gone ❤️

      Reply
  2. Kris Marie
    April 16, 2026

    Hi Jo, I went into the Doctor’s today for my 6 month visit, I’m a type 2 diabetic, on lots of meds. We discussed what weight loss injection might be an option for me, we decided on Mounjaro and I just picked up 4 pens, starting dose #1 tomorrow morning. Did you have any side effects? You’re my inspiration! Thank you.

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      That’s great you’re doing this with your doctor, that’s exactly the right way to go. At the lowest dose I really didn’t have many side effects, maybe a bit of nausea at times, but overall it was very manageable. My worst side effects were when I went to the max dose (15mg) and I had side effects for about 2 months, they were nausea, diarrhea, constipation, throwing up, the dreaded sulfur burps, but after 2 months they went away. The first couple days after my injection, I do have to be careful what I eat, nothing heavy or rich, otherwise my tummy will hurt.

      Reply
      1. Kris Marie
        April 16, 2026

        Well I’m starting at 2.5 MG, not sure if that’s the lowest but Dr. said my refill will be 5 MGs. I truly appreciate your reply and sharing your story. I love that new pic of you with your darling dogs, you’re absolutely gorgeous!!

      2. Joanna Cismaru
        April 16, 2026

        That is the lowest dose! My only advice to you is not to rush moving up in dosage! Thank you so much, you’re very sweet!

  3. Jo-Ann Gibbons
    April 16, 2026

    Hey Jo.
    Thank you for sharing your lovely story 😊.
    I guess I’m what you call a foodie & have been following your cooking blog for a few years and have used many of your delicious recipes.
    I hear you. It would be difficult not sample many of your dishes.
    I don’t have the same problems but have other’s. I’m very happy that you’re doing what you’re doing. In fact one of my daughters is taking Manjaro as well – she’s also. 54🤗.
    I would like to suggest looking at the following program “The Livy Method”. It’s an excellent program- you’d really enjoy & be very supportive with your own program. Gina Livy.com.
    Give it a. Try. Please let me know what you think😃.
    Warm Regards Jo-Ann. Ps. Love your property & your 2 dogs🥰

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      Hi Jo-Ann, thank you so much for the kind words and for following along for all these years, that really means a lot 😊 I’m so glad your daughter is finding something that’s working for her too.

      I appreciate you sharing the program, I’ll definitely take a look, and thank you again for your support ❤️

      Reply
  4. Colette Cameron
    April 16, 2026

    Omgosh how you’ve felt is exactly how I feel now. I’m 63. I have no energy, I’m always tired, I feel weighted down. I ask myself “am I depressed?”, but I don’t ‘think’ I am. I’m not sad or anything. What was your first step? Did you see a doctor before you started taking Mounjaro?

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      Oh absolutely. I went to my doctor first, actually because I had developed a rash and after urgent care ran a bunch of tests and found nothing, I was left with more questions than answers. The one thing that did come up was my high blood pressure, which is what led me to follow up with my doctor.

      He’s the one who started me on Mounjaro, and I see him monthly so he can monitor everything closely. I definitely wouldn’t have done this without being under a doctor’s care.

      Reply
  5. Sandy
    April 16, 2026

    I’m so proud of you! Keep up the great feeling and attitude!

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      Thank you so much!

      Reply
  6. Christine E. Kennedy
    April 16, 2026

    Dear Jo, the hormones, the food noise, all of the feelings…I’m about to turn 50 in a few days, and the whole journey with blood pressure, IBS, gastroparesis, and way more, has been exhausting. Hearing you have found some peace is absolutely wonderful! Have fun and enjoy your land, your puppers, and most definitely your life with your husband. Much love and continued support!

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      Thank you so much, that really means a lot. It’s been a journey for sure, and I’m just grateful to finally feel some peace, I’m sending you lots of support right back ❤️

      Reply
  7. Mary Florance
    April 16, 2026

    I have battled my weight since I was 10. My husband and children were thin and home baked chocolate chip cookies never called to them all day. I have suffered with joint pain since I was 50. My weight was always up and down. Each time I had to eat less just to lose. I have been on Ozempic since November. I was ashamed to admit I started it. But I am feeling much better and slowly losing weight. I don’t think about sweets. I applaud you for taking this path now. I will be 82 tomorrow – better late than never!

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      Thank you so much for sharing this, that takes a lot of honesty. And you’re absolutely right, better late than never, I’m so glad you’re feeling better and finding something that’s working for you ❤️

      Reply
  8. Susan Dobbs
    April 16, 2026

    What a beautiful property you have! Have you considered building a big old greenhouse? With your engineering mind and love of cooking, it seems like a perfect fit.

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      Thank you so much! And yes, we actually just got a greenhouse, we’re just waiting to install it, I’m very excited about that 😊

      Reply
  9. Lisa Moore
    April 16, 2026

    Your story and experience mirrors mine. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      Thank you so much for saying that, it really means a lot. It’s comforting to know we’re not alone in this.

      Reply
  10. Astrid
    April 16, 2026

    wow Jo.
    what an amazing post.
    I’ve had the first recipe more then 10 years ago. pizza dough.😋 I wish you well with your health and send warm wishes from Melbourne Australia 🦘

    Reply
    1. Joanna Cismaru
      April 16, 2026

      Wow, you’ve been with me for a while!!! Thank you!

      Reply
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Meet Jo

We’re Joanna and Remo, a wife and husband duo obsessed with good food, simple ingredients, and turning everyday cravings into recipes you’ll actually want to make.

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